i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
