i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Pants are for mortals
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
