i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
