and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
