Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
