If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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