Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
high people should be assigned attendants
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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