Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
