He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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