Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
