oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
