I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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