I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
