Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
they're like a gay fantastic four
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
