Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
