I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
