some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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