apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
