I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Banned from zoo.
Again?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
