P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
