yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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