But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
