my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
