Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
