We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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