apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
