yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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