So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
