Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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