What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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