Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We are two peas in an std pod
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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