I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
from now on my penis is your penis
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
