she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
