well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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