why didn't you poke me back
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
