im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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