You're my little dorito
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
