i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I feel like abortions should bother me more
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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