You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
