i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just googled if crying burns calories
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
