i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
