You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
