Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
