you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
