5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
