By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
