Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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