I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
