i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
