i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
