i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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