i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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